I am obsessed with the Netflix production Indian Matchmaking. Despite what I would describe as A effort using online dating apps, being actively engaged, brave, and open to possibilities, I have not had success. I wonder what might be the benefit of having a matchmaker. Could she find him?

I am not sure I need a matchmaker for marriage, though not opposed, I could use help in the dating game. I am fascinated by Sima Taparia, the featured matchmaker.

She introduces herself as Sima from Mumbai. The process may not be scientific, but she uses more than pictures to make matches, there are also measures and guidelines. She comments, marriage in India is about two families uniting. Parents must agree, and support the recommended match as much as the intended pair. Finding a life partner for her clients is her goal. It is not an arranged marriage, clarifies Sima Auntie, it is a love marriage.

Sima Auntie meets with the client and their families to understand wants, to discuss relationship history, and identify deal-breakers.  She observes and questions to develop a profile of needs and restrictions. And in Indian culture, she considers caste. Though outlawed in the 1950s, social station, class, occupation, and family history are critical elements in making the match. Where you were born, your level of education, success, address, and zip code matters. Even in US dating culture some of these elements are also considered, as are seemingly less significant matters of height. I have read many profiles stating height more often than weight if mentioned at all. I am tall and while I do not want to admit it, I would rather he also be tall. I would rather not appear Amazonian next to my man.

Sima Auntie uses biodatas. Imagine a CV of sorts sharing pertinent information of his/her physical characteristics, like height and weight, but also horoscope, caste, religion, upbringing, lifestyle, and values as well as preferences. For difficult clients, those too picky or stubborn, Síma Auntie also uses the expertise of a face reader. The reader uses astrology and observations about personality to foretell the possibility and potential of a match. The reader can even give a timeframe of when the client may marry. What would the reader see in my face?

Sima Auntie is not always successful, but she will continue the search. If you watch, some matches appear made, and then ghosting and other telltale behaviors of a failed match present. Clients share their heartache and triumph. And us single folks who have Bumbled, Matched, and Eharmonied without success know the disenchantment.

Ah, but I have found a matchmaker, two actually! I read an article about dating sites singles must try before the end of 2020, and I picked several that might work for me. While being free is an incentive, what interested me in Chorus was using friends as matchmakers. Lee and Jay (their names changed here for privacy) accepted my invitation and are looking at matches for me. I do not see a profile until a recommend a match is reciprocated. What is useful here is that while discriminating, they are less so. In Bumble, for example, if there is nothing but a picture I swipe left, if it is a poor quality picture, if the photo includes children, features a motorcycle, I swipe left. And please, I have nothing against bikers. I don’t ride. My brother-in-law died in a motorcycle accident. I swipe left aware these are not true deal-breakers.

I know that personality, sense of humor, ability to engage adds to chemistry, but with only pictures, it is easy to eliminate. Lee and Jay will make these considerations knowing me well and being more open to possibilities that I might too easily dismiss. Chorus will also allow me to be a matchmaker, but I am leaving swiping up to Lee and Jay.

Another feature of Chorus brilliantly designed is Dating Roulette. It is remote speed dating. You indicate you are available and if you match you connect via ZOOM for five minutes. You can immediately decide, is there more to explore, or it is time to say goodnight? I have only been matched once in dating roulette, and I was pleased that I could present myself and feel comfortable given such a brief window. No match for me, but I enjoyed the process.

Meeting remotely before committing to coffee or dinner could save so much time. Imagine the time saved from meeting Todd, who showed up so late I thought he was not coming. He was dressed like the guy from the Downy television ad with the stretched out t-shirt neck and appeared at least 15 years older than his profile picture.  I met Pete, who startled me when he pulled me toward him and was quite aroused. There was Phil, whom I had seen a couple of times and was offended by my holiday gift, or Richard, who said it was the best date ever and then ghosted me. Details from these adventures are for another piece. Dating Roulette may not prevent these misadventures, but it may help in deciding whether or not I need that cup of coffee!

Dating Roulette gets better with Connecting For Change. On certain nights, roulette is offered for 15-minute ZOOM encounters with an opportunity to talk about an issue or cause. A prompt is given, and the rest is up to the pair. This feature brings like-minded folks together. What do you care about, what do you stand for? Values-based discussion can get to the foundation of who we are ­­– that’s a match!

I am encouraged by the design of Chorus and the possibilities of matching. I am grateful for my matchmakers Lee and Jay, and their commitment to this process. Wish me luck.

I look toward the stars because Sima Auntie says, matches are made in heaven.